that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
