Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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