She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
