My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize