Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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