Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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