I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
