ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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