Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
