she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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