Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
