I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
