When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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