I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
