He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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