That's intense
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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