I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
