ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
