And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
it's like iHOP with fire
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just had sex on a roof
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
