I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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