she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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