maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
