She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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