You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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