Your tits are I can't wait for
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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