Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
His nipple licking is glorious
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