fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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