Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.

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  (510): We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP. http://tfl.nu/sbka
  Replies (14) Good night (1106) Bad night (567)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...

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  (631): I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms... http://tfl.nu/vz7o
  Replies (27) Good night (1742) Bad night (2338)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.

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  (989): I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/vt43
  Replies (16) Good night (4546) Bad night (702)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.

  (409): View more from Texas

  That was definitely the right answer.

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  (406): She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her. (409): That was definitely the right answer. http://tfl.nu/zisl
  Replies (19) Good night (6786) Bad night (1199)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had

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  (480): we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had http://tfl.nu/e6dk
  Replies (16) Good night (4825) Bad night (919)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Am I supposed to find that romantic?

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  (412): I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts (1-412): Am I supposed to find that romantic? http://tfl.nu/carb
  Replies (19) Good night (6786) Bad night (2459)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?

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  (410): Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"? http://tfl.nu/6yo8
  Replies (10) Good night (701) Bad night (1402)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD

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  (516): i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD http://tfl.nu/cfey
  Replies (5) Good night (2071) Bad night (873)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.

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  (713): We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning. http://tfl.nu/f21r
  Replies (2) Good night (2194) Bad night (574)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.

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  (614): Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/3dw9
  Replies (22) Good night (1855) Bad night (659)
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  (559): View more from California

  so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"

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  (559): so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?" http://tfl.nu/cy8a
  Replies (5) Good night (1255) Bad night (381)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude

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  (724): Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude http://tfl.nu/f4au
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (584)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.

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  (434): I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism. http://tfl.nu/xlca
  Replies (3) Good night (489) Bad night (238)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.

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  (713): The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time. http://tfl.nu/2jw5
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (301)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away

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  (267): We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away http://tfl.nu/41eq
  Replies (4) Good night (723) Bad night (208)

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