Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
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yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
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I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just forgot I was standing up.