loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.