Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth

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  (608): Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth http://tfl.nu/9wx7
  Replies (7) Good night (2080) Bad night (691)
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  (+44): View more from England

  So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?

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  (+44): So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'? http://tfl.nu/cyi6
  Replies (28) Good night (839) Bad night (3120)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.

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  (303): you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it. http://tfl.nu/a3f5
  Replies (9) Good night (678) Bad night (4183)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.

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  (903): her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top. http://tfl.nu/4up5
  Replies (132) Good night (758) Bad night (8474)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.

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  (352): He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number. http://tfl.nu/0dku
  Replies (7) Good night (793) Bad night (4388)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...

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  (336): just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ... http://tfl.nu/0ptt
  Replies (18) Good night (930) Bad night (2628)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.

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  (316): I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back. http://tfl.nu/cqa8
  Replies (42) Good night (5086) Bad night (1589)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms

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  (503): And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms http://tfl.nu/1av4
  Replies (7) Good night (2352) Bad night (724)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.

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  (702): I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared. http://tfl.nu/11u7
  Replies (4) Good night (2981) Bad night (1405)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night

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  (410): that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night http://tfl.nu/xnkt
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (755)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.

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  (587): Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch. http://tfl.nu/ad1t
  Replies (6) Good night (2226) Bad night (660)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  So you met him?

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.

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  (720): So you met him? (1-720): More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home. http://tfl.nu/2r4i
  Replies (1) Good night (1411) Bad night (562)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.

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  (603): I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/omfe
  Replies (13) Good night (1050) Bad night (686)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.

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  (402): I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men. http://tfl.nu/t0j9
  Replies (14) Good night (2619) Bad night (557)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Die.

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  (203): Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart (763): Die. http://tfl.nu/kmyn
  Replies (11) Good night (698) Bad night (1006)

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