That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
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Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"