I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
