I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild