So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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