If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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