i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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