You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
