So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
