She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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