I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
