you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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