He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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