Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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