I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize