i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
