Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
