you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
