i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize