You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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