Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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