I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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