Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
