I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
