My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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