I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
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