i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
