i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
