Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
