I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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