THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
