I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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