I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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