I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
