so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
is that a dick in a sweater?
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