Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
